Overlooked Mama-I see you

Some days, if I could describe how I feel in one word, it would be overlooked.

Overlooked.

Do you ever feel that way? Like you just do and go and give and no one notices or cares? There are things I do that no one even realizes need to be done.

I see you.

I have embraced these things as part of my mom and wife role, and for the next few minutes I am going to break my own rule and complain!! Not about what I do, but about the fact they seem to always go unnoticed. I am thankful for my kids and husband and I know these responsibilities are a blessing. But wouldn’t it be nice, just once in a blue moon, to feel like they notice? I don’t need a skywritten message or big production. I don’t need flowers or a card (although they are a nice surprise) Just notice.

I see you.

Mom, you took us across 4 counties in a snowstorm to get us all where we need to go. Mom, you make us dinner, schedule my appointments. My teeth are clean, my needs are met. The laundry is done, food is bought and cooked, money is in the bank. Just notice.

I see you.

We are expected to go through life at a normal pace — despite dreadful hormone swings and a lack of sleep. Hormonal anxiety is a real thing and it blows. A few years back, I sat at a stop light worrying about my kids going to prison some day because they might text and drive and cause an accident. Since my oldest was 13 at the time, this seems like a little premature. But I did it anyway.

Thank you PMS.

Any other time of the month I would experience much more normal worries, such as human trafficking and norovirus…ha.

Someone once told me about a book called Red Tent. I’ve never read it but apparently in this story, women retreat to a special, quiet place each month while menstruating. Sign me up for that fantasy land. We could sit around and cry and laugh and eat together for 3-5 days.

This all sounds nuts but my mood swings and craziness has gotten ALOT BETTER than a few short years ago.

My husband can’t relate. What man does? We leave for a weekend and things at home are magically taken care of, ready to go, bases covered. It goes overlooked.

I see you.

Over time, these feelings wear away at you like sandpaper. The sore breaks open and BAM – psycho mom makes her appearance. She doesn’t typically stay long, thankfully. Then psycho mom morphs into guilty mom. Regret covers you like a heavy blanket.

I see you.

Then there are times we are completely impossible to please. “I want some time alone.” Then we get it and after a few short hours, we don’t know what to do with ourselves. We want a trip away but when we get there, we miss the kids. Sigh. We just can’t be pleased.

The bible tells us to put others needs before our own. To give and not count the cost. Work for the Lord. He notices even when no one else does. I believe this is true. I also believe it is REALLY, REALLY hard. Can’t He just send a message. An angel. A sign of appreciation from someone. Anyone. Please. Anyone. Bueller. Bueller.

I see you.

Tired, overlooked, hormonal mama. We are doing good things, even if no one notices. Most days we do them joyfully and don’t even notice that no one notices. We don’t want or need recognition because we are just doing what moms do. But, on the days we just can’t shake that overlooked feeling, just remember, you are not alone.

Fraud alert

The other day I was back to school shopping with the kids and my bank grew suspicious. I received a fraud alert text and my card was shut down until I responded “yes.” It was in fact ME spending entirely too much money at the mall. #daughters

While I am thankful for these type of alerts, I am weary of another kind of fraudulent activity.

Do you ever do/say/post/write something and feel like a fraud?

Lately stress from various parts of my life has been really, well, stressful. I am so short fused. Yet, I tell my kids to be patient with each other. I feel like a fraud.

I am moving 100 miles an hour, but I tell my kids to slow down and chill. I feel like a fraud.

I am almost a year into reading my Bible, and I have learned a lot. It has been a great habit, but I am still not fully transformed. Some people talk about their transformation. Hmm, well I still have a short fuse and a bit of a potty mouth. Something isn’t working here. I feel like a fraud.

I make lists of things I am grateful for and tell everyone who will listen how it is such a life changing habit. Then I complain about this or that. I feel like a fraud.

I preach healthy eating, then I scarf down a sleeve of cookies and Coke. I feel like a fraud.

I am blessed with some amazing friends who share in my struggle. We are not alone. We all have bad days!!

The good news is we are who God made us… bad habits and all! He is not surprised. When we snap at our spouse, God doesn’t think, “Wow! I didn’t see that coming.”

He knows.

So instead of feeling like a fraud, why don’t we feel thankful for our nuances and ask God to show us how to use them for good.

It’s a Heart thing ♥

Lately I have been praying Psalm 51:10: Create in me a pure heart, O Lord, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Often I can recognize when I am not doing things for the right reasons, or when I am doing things I shouldn’t be doing.

When the motives of our heart are in line with God, I think a lot of other things naturally fall into place. You have to start deep on the inside.

But…

Life is challenging. Recognizing behavior and changing behavior are 2 very different things!

Can I get an Amen?!

Our impure hearts can easily line up with the world view rather than God’s view.

But I want to want what God wants.


Gods says: I want you to forgive that person.

The world says: They don’t deserve forgiveness. I want to repay an eye for an eye so they know how it feels.

Ephesians 4:32: Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ God forgave you.


God says: I want you to stop watching that show.

The world says: But it’s so funny and entertaining. I need time to just veg out and unwind.

1 John 2:6: Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did.


God says: I want you to make time for me and put me first.

The world says: There are so many other things I have to get done. There is not enough time.

Mathew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.


God says: I want you to stop arguing over your disagreements.

The world says: But I know I am right and they are wrong!

2 Timothy 2:23: Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels.


God says: Show them love.

The world says: They aren’t worthy of my affection.

John 13:35: By this all people will know that you are my disciple, if you have love for one another.


God, I want to want what You want. Change my heart. Create in me a pure heart. Let my heart’s desire be to follow your lead, listen for your voice, and take that step in faith, even if it goes against what the world thinks I should do. Give me an eternal perspective. Amen