100 days on the roller coaster of breast cancer. It’s been quite the ride.
During these 100 days…
…I’ve had (in no particular order) 4 mammograms, 3 ultrasounds, 2 surgeries, 1 biopsy, 1 MRI, and a partridge in a pear tree. I’m probably forgetting something, and this doesn’t count the multiple doctor appointments. End results = Stage 0 DCIS grade II and Stage 1 invasive lobular carcinoma. AKA 2 kinds of freaking breast cancer.
During these 100 days…
…I’ve had a range of emotions: shock, anger, confusion, sadness, hope, hopelessness, confidence, paranoia, panic, joy, depression, self-pity, anxiety, and happiness. I’ve cried happy and sad tears. I’ve yelled. I’ve just said “please Lord” because I couldn’t say anything else. I’ve said “what the F%@k” multiple times. I’ve lived what felt like groundhogs day more days than one. These may seem like conflicting emotions and reactions, but that’s how it is when you’re on the ride.
During these 100 days…
…I’ve had dozens and dozens and dozens of people reach out via text, phone call, and email. I’ve had multiple people send gifts, flowers, food, and cards. I’ve had donations to cancer research made in my honor. I’ve had meals dropped off, including homemade chicken noodle soup with HOMEMADE NOODLES from my house cleaner (who long ago turned into an AMAZING friend) oh and this was the same week her son was having surgery.
During these 100 days…
…I’ve had people tell me they are praying for me. I’ve had people stop me in the store to tell me they are praying for me EVERY day. I have strangers praying for me. I’ve had my most long-standing friend (since the 2nd grade) LITERALLY check on me EVERY DAY. She has seriously NOT missed a single day and always has the right thing to say or just sit and listen or give me a hug. Thanks is not enough. My kids are getting along better, and my husband is picking up the slack, despite having shoulder surgery less than 2 weeks ago.
During these 100 days…
…I’ve had moments/days/weeks where the awful cancer “noise” is so loud. In those moments, it drowns out all reasonable thoughts. Other times, I’ve managed to make it background music and actually enjoy some other “noise” for a while.
During these 100 days…
…I’ve met other people also dealing with breast cancer, some worse off than me. I’ve thanked God I don’t need chemo, and we’re done having kids. I’ve thanked God for my doctors and my hospital as they have been great to work with and kept things moving along so quickly. I’ve thanked God for my church. We might be small, but we are mighty, and everyone has been amazing. (PS open invite to come join us 10am on Sundays Federated Church of Grass Lake) I’ve thanked God for my amazing friends, family, and the strength and courage He has given me.
Day 100…
…I think we can confidently say I am CANCER FREE. Now comes the fun part – staying that way! Radiation starts tomorrow, then the ever so lovely hormone therapy that sounds like menopause 1.0. This is extra fun since I’ll get to go through real menopause once this is done! (Pray for my family!!!)
I’ve learned a lot and grown a lot. I’ve survived all these tests, visits, and ups and downs…along with the stomach flu which hit the whole family starting on Christmas day, one kid with Covid, work stress, supporting 3 kids in 4 different sports simultaneously, and raising 2 teenagers and a spoiled little 9 year old angel. Oh yeah, did I mention this is during a pandemic??
So there is your day 100 update. Paper and pen are my therapy, so this is the best way for me to communicate. I am hoping the update on day 365 and day 900 and day 1500 and day 4000 and day 9000 will be the same – Cancer free!! Thanks for your support!
